my dream

The heart of southwest nowhere, this is where my dream ends. A cold desolate nowhere, where sun shines coldly and hearts grow into it, and, my drem, a story which painfully I will only forever bind together and be bound between past and future heartaches. The earth here is frozen. It is a marvelously ugly place- a delicately unyielding land, where I and too many others have watched leaves land painfully frozen on the grounds where we, too, will fall only to be forgotten. No one here is a stranger, at least to the pain of losses known. And, no one here is lonely without having at least their loneliness, and the shared sense that looms here.
Oh, this place, with daunting memories, where I fell in love. Oh, this place, this place where I fell too quickly out of love, then back in love again. Falling the second time only for this sacred place of loneliness- the guardian of many hollow men alike, empty men such as myself. This place and I are both so filled with a mutual agony and the few tears we still have left. Quarantined from the rest world in hopeless desperation, I live along side all that are lonely in this place which darkness endlessly expands in all dimensions, ever growing from the solitude within each of us who occupy this space. And strewn about this occupied vacancy and I, too, are many dreams once had like this one, and prayers unanswered. Many people have died here before, all of them so much alike, and like us to be, all of us- shadows of those before.
Such are all stories written here, left on pages to be untold and still known. Chronicles printed in blood on forests replanted that wait until the last page is read, turned, then torn, and even then our roots remain in this forest from which we arose. Approaching what seems inevitably certain, I am restless amongst the conclusion of our journey together. Not one with these hopeless souls, but with this ever-constant carrier of sorrows- this land which appears nothing more than opposite to a ship of Phlegyas rushing to certain doom. I have no idea what lies ahead, but rest in knowing that it positively cannot be a place more empty and bleak than here.
I feel relief in the moment of knowing that I will leave this horrible place, even as I am unsure of the encounters that lie ahead. In this exact moment, however, I am mournful in knowing that this place is all I've ever known, and this place is all I've had. And, as I prepare to depart this land of lost desires, and leave behind broken spirits so similar to mine, my legs grow weak and I tremble in remorse. I fall to the ground with the last of my tears and wish to this place that it may find peace. I, prepared now for anything, offer this land my last drop of blood and in my last words to be carried away in her wind I say to her, "Goodbye, my friend."


Im awake now, not knowing if I slept or lived my nightmare. Im left with dispare and loneliness. I feel my insides turning every which way like there is some demon devouring my feelings and my intestines. Was it really a nightmare? God I'm not sure. I have lost a part of me somewhere in the midsts of the cold dark night. All I can hope for is that someone finds it and uses it. What ever it is. Im not sure if it is the materials we read for this class, usually Im a happy boy, and now that I am awake I am! No I can't tell the dream relm from reality. It is nothing like Alice in Wonderland....I am glad to be home in reality! For the first time in a while I actually was a little emotional because of this dream! Im not emotional all to often. So now my question is were my tears real if this was a dream? Does it matter if they were? I hope my next dream is like the majority, happy! This one was a rare nightmare.